how to walk

My question is how do I walk away? How do I put one foot in front of the other when I know every step takes me further from you? You see I love you. Maybe if you didn’t love me. Maybe if I knew you weren’t standing there watching me go I could walk away. I know your not walking away even though you try. You stay idle. I can barely get a step in before I turn around. So please tell me how do two people in love walk away? How do I forget getting lost in your lips and the butterflies I get when I think about seeing you? How do I forget the songs that filled our silence? How do I let our broken dreams slip away?  How do I walk on with part of your heart with me as I leave mine with you? If you weren’t standing idle I could step, walk, jump into a broken heart and a new beginning. But here we are again. Separated by miles and hurt. We are hard. But aren’t the best things in life hard. Are they not worth fighting for? I’m not lost, because I can’t move. I’m just stuck and my feet are restless.

-lo-

Lost

I have started to write a million times in the past year but the words didn’t flow like they used to. My words got lost in mind. My thoughts scattered and my desires torn. I don’t know how to describe being lost in your own mind. It’s easy to get lost in life. The hard parts tend to throw you in to the dark and the light seems to drift farther and farther away. There is a point you forget there was a light to begin with. You stop searching for it. The worst part of losing your light is when you let someone take it from you. I think that is how you get lost in your mind. When you give someone the power to take away the only thing that makes you see. Your blind and flailing to find the parts of yourself you once knew so well. Today I am still searching for the light I let you take from me. I am still trying to find my way out of this darkness. But I know I am close to finding it. And when I do I know I’ll never let anyone take my light again. 

nostalgia

Today we got the opportunity to just be kids again. At an installation on campus called "A Nostalgic Afternoon," we were able to crawl into a massive blanket and pillow fort and just remember what it was like to be a kid; when we could be a mermaid one day, a ballerina the day after, and a dinosaur after that. Kids know how to celebrate the small things in life because every new experience is an adventure and an eye opener. I will always be a child at heart because I like to always see the world through the wondrous eyes of a child. And don't be surprised if Lauren and I build a permanent blanket fort in our house next year. 

"A Nostalgic Afternoon" will be on display as a part of The Cohen New Works Festival on campus until March 29. Visit anostalgicafternoon.tumblr.com to read peoples' childhood memories and thoughts. 

Olivia

holding on

• I have this stuffed lamb named Lamby. He has a white jew fro on his small stuffed body and a pink nose meant for kissing. I am 19 and have not been able to let Lamby go, despite many efforts. Looking at Lamby today I wondered why we hold on to things so strongly. We are so unwilling to let go. We hold on for dear life to anything and everything we love or loved. We fight for them until there is no chance they can survive. I hold onto relationships like I hold on to lamby. I hate to say goodbye. Relationships fade but love doesn’t. Memories don’t. That is why we hold on. We hold on to things that provide us happiness whether past or present. Because love is endless, memories are infinite, and having faith in something gives you faith in yourself. So for now I’ll hold on to my jew fro’d lamb for everything he once gave me and everything he will. 

  
  

  Lauren

  
  

  
  

dreaming of the beach

Photograph by Richard Rutledge, 1952.

play

Although it’s been awhile. Due to finals and life and what not it is a new year full of new beginnings and fresh resolutions so here's to a new post and many more in the future.

You know those moments you would give anything to rewind and do over. Those moments that make you sick to your stomach because you chose wrong. Those moments that you hurt the person you love most and would give anything to take back. Or what about those moments you wish you could pause and live in forever. The ones where you feel like the world around you could continue on but you in your bliss could stay forever on pause. Just feeling the moment of pure happiness. Whether your basking in the sun alone reading a book on the first day of spring, laying in the grass watching the clouds with your best friends, or resting your head on the love of your life hoping that the moment could just last forever. However we constantly try to fast forward the hard moments the ones that leave us fighting to stay afloat. We want to plan out every step of our future but why. Why is the future so important that it must be planned? In what aspect does that leave us to be who we are and create a life that’s meant for us.  However we are forced to live in play, without a pause button, without a rewind, without a fast-forward. We are forced to face the choices we make right or wrong. We are forced to leave behind the best moments in our lives to create new ones so that the old ones become memories. Life is on play and we have to face it. As hard as it can be sometimes as great as it can be we are forced to face it. So face it and create a life you never wish you had a remote for.

Lauren

currently

I want to be in nature, reading poems, taking pretty pictures, having a picnic, and taking a nap on a flannel blanket. 

In reality, we are studying for finals. 

Olivia 

{image via The Fresh Exchange}